I’m starting a new job soon. As a scientist, I feel like you go into every job hoping you’ll accomplish something. Not just keep the lights on or stay out of trouble, but to actually create or discover something that’s never been seen before.

I had a lot of hopes when I joined my current job, and few to any of them have panned out. Maybe I was unrealistic or overoptimistic, or just plain unlucky and I shouldn’t feel bad, but I do feel bad and wish I could have done more.

As I go into my final days in this office, at this job, I look at all the data I have and the people I’m training to replace me, and I feel like maybe with a little bit more time, I could accomplish what I’d planned. I could create something publishable and really add to the field. But then after a few days of that feeling, I’ll run into a new unsolvable problem and be right back where I started, feeling certain that I’ll never accomplish what I wanted at this job.

I don’t know, I don’t want to get into too many specifics because the technical details would bore my readers, but the hopes I had when entering this job didn’t match the regrets I have leaving it. I wish I could have done more, but I don’t know how. And I’m worried that the work I *did* do will be forgotten and ignored by my coworkers who are still there, since I never got my work into a publishable state.

If I were in it for the money, I wouldn’t be in science. I just wish I could get the discoveries that I *am* in it for.