Small post, but what do you do when things aren’t fun? I have friends, and hanging out with them is the highlight of my week every week. But then when they’re gone I’m back at home alone. Video games used to be something that could entertain me any time any day, but recently I’ve lost interest in the things I used to play, and I never feel like buying any new games either. My family is fun to be with, but I can’t be with them every day, I have work to do. But how do I fill the empty hours of the day? Running makes me feel better, but I can’t do that all the time either.

I thought having friends, a stable job, a nice place to live, an active hobby like running, and plenty of money for video games would make me happy. I thought all this when I was a kid. If I could have lived like this as a kid, I’d have thought I had the best life in the world. But something is missing, and I don’t know what.

I could go to the movies, but those aren’t fun to me. I could find new video games, but that doesn’t feel fun. I could play old video games, but that doesn’t feel fun. I could read more books, but that doesn’t feel fun. I could write more on my blog, but as my recent output has demonstrated, that doesn’t feel fun either.

It’s not that I don’t have fun, I do. Every day I have something going on that’s really fun, whether it’s a friend to hang out with or family, or some event. But in between these hours of fun are still 23 other hours in the day to fill, and I don’t know what to fill them with that would be fun.

I don’t know, I just don’t know. I don’t know why I feel so happy to run a 5k in the morning with my friend, and then feel so empty later in the day, after we’ve had lunch and said our goodbyes. I was happier in my undergrad days when I had less: less friends, less money, less time, I had less of almost everything. But somehow I was happier then than I am now. And I don’t know why.